Chapter 49

"Borrrred!" whined Emma as she swung her arms above the floor while practically hanging over the back of the sofa. She lifted her head as much as she could to yell towards her mother, who was searching through her cell phone for a number. "Can we go to the beach?" the little girl asked, staring at the carpet.

Olivia gave the child a quick sideways glance and returned to searching. "Hey, Monkey-Girl, we aren't at home. Take it easy on the furniture." Upon finding the correct number, she pressed 'dial' and made her way over to the window overlooking the front of the hotel.

"Can we go to the movies?" the little girl asked loudly.

"Mommy's on the phone, give me a few minutes, Baby." Olivia pushed open the curtain to view the street below. "Jacques, hello. This is Olivia Spencer calling."

"Ms. Spencer, Good Evening. I'm afraid I haven't had a chance to talk to you about the merger, I'm sure you can understand that things are very chaotic around here."

"Oh no, that isn't why I'm calling; actually I've taken the proposition off the table."

"You have? I'm sorry, I hadn't been made aware..."

"I need to ask you if you have any idea why a federal agent was just here in Natalia's suite, grilling her about her father's death?"

"You're still here?... with Natalia??"

Olivia sighed, not feeling like explaining herself. "Yes, I am. The agent, Jacques?"

The Frenchman cleared his throat. "I don't have any information about it at this time, Ms. Spencer, but I can assure you I am doing everything I can to get to the bottom of it."

Olivia took note of the defensive tone. "Of course. I'm sure you are." She dropped her hold on the curtain and let it fall back into place, turning to glance over at her daughter, who was now kneeling at the coffee table, trying to balance a remote on its top end but having no luck.

"What is being done about the crowd of reporters?"

"Everything that can be done about them, which isn't very much when sensationalists feel the need to create drama where there is none for the sake of 'ratings'."

Olivia could hear the bitter tension in the older gentleman's voice.

"I apologize, I'm very busy here, Ms. Spencer. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No, Jacques, sorry to disturb you." Olivia responded, unsure if she'd really meant it.

"I will be calling Natalia, directly, the moment I have a clearer understanding of what's going on. Good day, Ms. Spencer."

With that the phone clicked to a dial tone.

"Way to make a girl feel wanted, Jacques," Olivia huffed, though she silently respected the man for wanting to protect the family business – and Natalia – from 'outsiders'.

"Mom, if we can't go to the movies, can we at least play some games or something?"

Olivia moved back into the kitchen and leaned against the island counter. "I'm sorry you're bored, honey. I wasn't expecting that we'd be staying here any longer."

The girl came around the other side of the marble countertop and began the remote balancing act in front of her mother.

"The thing is, I'm pretty sure that Natalia isn't going to want to play any games right now, honey."

"Natalia doesn't like playing games?" Emma asked with furrowed brows.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sure if she ever tried, she'd be very good at it, Sweetie, but right now there is a bunch of sad things happening, and she probably doesn't feel like doing anything fun at the moment."

"I think that's the perfect time for fun," the child said matter-of-factly.

"On any other day it would be." Olivia glanced down the hallway towards the sound of the shower running. She looked at her watch and guessed that Natalia had been in the bathroom for nearly twenty minutes. She also noticed that it was only late afternoon and that she had to find a way to entertain Emma for five more hours before the child's bedtime.

"Soooo booorrred!" Emma whined again, putting her cheek on the counter and wrapping an arm over her face.

Olivia straightened. "Okay, what do you say you and I take off for a bit and go get crazy in the big city?"

Emma jumped up and down. "Can we go and watch a movie and eat junk-food?" she asked excitedly.

Olivia shook her head and smiled. "No, we can go watch a movie and have a small bag of pop-corn, then partake of a healthy dinner consisting of lots of healthy vegetables and proteins.”

Emma rolled her eyes. "Ew, I'm starting to get bored again thinking about vegetables."

Her mother gasped and quickly moved around the island, capturing the little girl in a loose hug and tickling her side, causing the girl to giggle loudly. "You stop being cheeky, or I'll bring steamed broccoli to the theater!"

Emma broke away and ran for the safety of the couch. Olivia watched her go and her smile faded somewhat. She didn't feel comfortable leaving Natalia alone for the evening, but she knew it wasn't fair to keep Emma cooped up in the suite all day, and as there was a sea of reporters with video cameras outside waiting for her, she knew the other woman wouldn't want to step foot outside the hotel.

"Get your shoes on and get ready to go. I'll tell Natalia we're leaving."


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The first sound Natalia heard when she turned off the water was the light-hearted laughter of a little girl. She could hear mother and child teasing each other in the kitchen, giggling to themselves, and it made her smile even through the tears. It was an unfamiliar sound, certainly a new experience for the walls of her hotel suite; a place that rarely ever saw visitors except for the maids and bellhops. In fact, she couldn't remember having guests in her illustrious suite for years. She hadn't anyone to invite up to her room. Friends had proved to be untrustworthy, either looking for handouts from the heiress, or using her to establish publicity for themselves. More often than not the gossip and rumors that splattered themselves all over the tabloids essentially came from someone claiming to be a 'friend'. Amicable acquaintances could be maintained at an arms length on the ground floors. And lovers? Using such terminology to describe her sexual partners had always seemed rather ridiculous to Natalia. Natalia chose encounters with men who had a paramount desire for discretion. Wealthy men, or men of power, who were too busy trying to keep their own ghosts in their closets to care about her own. Sex happened in unfamiliar surroundings, neutral territory for both parties where it could easily be left behind.

And she always left it behind.

Natalia had purposefully made life revolve around her work. There was little room for anything else. There was no time for friendships or romantic entanglements. Though she did her best to be pleasant and treat people with respect, she had very few connections with other individuals whom she didn't actually employ, or need to deal with regularly for the sake of the company. The person she spoke to the most throughout the day was her secretary, whom she admired for her work ethic and attention to detail, yet knew little about outside the office. Sheila had a husband named Albert, or Rob. Maybe Robert? And a child of some gender. The next person she dealt with each day was her Chief of Staff. Bi-daily calls to give orders and get reports. Random calls to the heads of all the different departments within the company, and a few five-minute conversations with long-standing employees who had never been too intimidated by her position in the company to try and get to know her a little better. Smiles and handshakes from wealthy and/or famous guests – regular visitors of the hotel who required a certain air of diplomacy and a faked intimacy to make them feel as important as they thought themselves to be. Natalia couldn't stand most of the aristocracy that kept her family's business running, and yet it was her ability to make them feel like royalty that kept them coming back.

Her days were full of human interactions. So many that Natalia hadn't much time to reflect on the irony of the lonely existence she'd created for herself. And if she ever did have a free moment to think about it, she would call her father. At the end of the hectic day, it would be his voice that would remind her that she wasn't alone. All of the efforts of the day seemed worth it when she heard the hint of pride in her father's voice. She was fulfilling the destiny that they both had created for her. How could she ever feel lonely when she was surrounded by so many accomplishments?

As she wrapped herself in a large white towel and dried off her cooling skin, she let the sounds from the other room wash over her. Unfamiliar as they were, they were welcomed, and the laughter from the family in the other room soothed her even as it threatened to fill her with a nagging sense of regret.

There was a gentle knocking at the bathroom door.

"Natalia?" Olivia's voice called from the other side of the door. Natalia knew the other woman was checking up on her.

Honest concern, the younger woman thought as she quickly pulled a fluffy white robe from a hanger beside the door and put it on, tying it haphazardly around her waist. Something else I'm not familiar with. She opened the door about a foot, and steam from the hot shower billowed out into the hall.

"Geez, Rivera, it's a damned good thing you're the one paying the water bill around here." Olivia made an exaggerated wave of her hand to clear the air.

Natalia leaned against the doorframe and flashed a barely-there smile. "I'm just finishing up," she said. "And before you ask, I'm fine." She was suddenly grateful for the water that had washed away her tears and made it seem as though her cheeks were flushed due to its temperature. She herself could almost believe her own declaration.

Olivia, however, knew better. "No, you're not," she responded gently with a smile to match the other woman's. "And that wasn't what I was going to ask you."

The shorter woman shivered as the cool air outside the room swirled around damp skin not covered by the robe. She reached out for Olivia's right wrist and opened the bathroom door wider to draw her into the steam-filled room. "Ask your question in here; it's freezing out there."

Olivia allowed herself to be lead into the heated room, but when the door closed she made a point of standing with her back directly against it.

Natalia turned to look into the mirror and began running her fingers through still dripping locks of dark brown hair, seemingly unaware of the distance the other woman was making sure was between them. It wasn't until she caught the reflection of the Olivia's eyes in the mirror that she realized that she had drawn the other woman into her slightly intimate personal space. "Okay, so..." She turned and leaned against the counter, supporting some of her weight with her hands on the side of the countertop. "You were going to ask me something?"

Olivia was at that moment forcing her eyes to maintain contact with Natalia's and not wander downward to the long expanse of naked leg that could be seen where the robe had opened slightly. She was here to talk about the evening. She kept reminding herself of this, and yet she couldn't help but be marginally distracted, and she chided herself for it when she saw the recognition in Natalia's eyes and the somewhat sly smile she was now being given. "Um, yes," she managed to say evenly while bringing her focus back to her original mission. "I wanted to let you know that I've arranged for Emma's babysitter to fly back here first thing in the morning." She paused as Natalia moved from the sink to cross over to the other side of the room where she picked up another towel to start drying her hair.

"Okay?" Natalia said, encouraging Olivia to finish her spiel.

"That means that Emma is going to be here with us, and awake for quite a few more hours." She continued. "And as entertained as she is by cartoons, we can't keep her locked away in your room the whole evening."

Natalia stopped squeezing the excess water from her hair with the towel. "Right, of course not." She leaned back against the sink once again with a thoughtful expression. "And she isn't going to be very interested in discussions of hijacked bodies and asshole FBI agents." She tossed the damp towel into a laundry basket underneath the sink.

"Exactly," Olivia added. "So I was thinking maybe we should postpone our plans until she's in bed. I can take her down to the shops for a bit, feed her and whatnot." She again paused as Natalia opened a cabinet in the corner of the room and stretched her body to reach her hair dryer from the top shelf. Task at hand, task at hand, she kept reminding herself. She knew that Natalia was most likely not aware of the effect her movements were having on her, but even if she were, there was a certain amount of propriety necessary right now that she had to get a handle on. "I'm pretty sure you aren't up to tagging along, which is totally understandable... I just wanted to let you know, maybe give you the option... y'know." Olivia finished awkwardly.

Natalia hesitated as she took in the fact that Olivia seemed unsure of herself in that moment, almost distracted. And when she saw the other woman's gaze finally run along her naked thigh, she knew what that distraction was.

Distractions aren't always a bad thing, she heard her mind say as she stood up slowly from the counter. "Yeah, I don't think I would be very good company," she said when the pair of green eyes met hers once again. "I can't seem to get out of my head long enough to stop crying."

Olivia kept her eyes on the darker ones across the room. "I know." She flashed an empathetic look. "We will leave for a bit and give you some time alone."

Alone. The word reverberated through Natalia's brain and caused a wave of emptiness to roll violently in the pit of her stomach.

Keeping her own fear in check, she took a deep breath and moved closer to Olivia. "You'll come back later? Emma can sleep here." She was losing the stability in her voice. "Or you can call me when she goes to bed. I can come over there, if... whatever you want."

Olivia could sense the vulnerability. It was a rare occurrence, seeing the younger woman so fragile. She wanted to move forward and wrap her arms around Natalia. To protect her from her thoughts and feelings. But she didn't dare. Not the way her mind and body were reacting to even the subtlest movement of the half-naked woman in front of her. God, get a hold of yourself, Spencer! She lectured her libido even as Natalia stepped closer. The fragrance of flowery shampoo wafted around her, and Olivia took it in with a long breath that she released in a sigh. "Yeah, okay." She managed to retrain her brain to focus, momentarily. "We won't be gone too long, and I will call you as soon as Emma falls asleep. You can come over and we will work out what our next moves should be... with the detective... and the, uh..." Natalia was now in front of her, inches away. "...the coroner."

The brunette stretched out her arms and wrapped them around the taller woman's neck. She drew Olivia down into a gentle hug that seemed rather innocuous. A simple, innocent gesture of a grieving woman searching for comfort. Olivia trusted her willpower enough to accept that if Natalia was about to lose control, that she herself would have to be the one to maintain it. It wasn't until Natalia turned her head slightly to whisper "Thank you" past her ear that Olivia discovered what a test of resolve this 'hug' was going to become.  She inadvertently squeezed the smaller woman tighter against her when a warm breath breezed across her neck, and Natalia answered with a small sound that Olivia's brain was desperately trying not to translate into a moan of desire.

Natalia herself didn't know the meaning of the sound. She only knew that it felt wonderful to be enfolded by Olivia's arms, to feel safe and much less alone than she had felt in days. She realized that she was now clinging to the older woman, and she couldn't let go.

Okay, this can't be left entirely up to me, Olivia groaned inwardly, torn between wanting to feel the close connection as well as not wanting to let the moment slip into the grey area where selfishness resided. "Well, then." She lightly placed her hand on Natalia's shoulders and gently pushed herself back. "I should probably get back to the kitchen and let Emma know that we will be leaving."

Leaving. "No!" Natalia quickly commanded in a firmer tone than she had intended. "Not yet," Natalia pleaded. "Just a few more minutes." She snaked her arms around Olivia's waist, and settled the length of her body flush against the slender one in front of hers.

Olivia was trapped. She knew it, and struggled not to accept it, keeping her arms at her sides and the palms of her hands flat against the door behind her even as her body betrayed her and pressed forward slightly to feel more heat from the body against hers. She understood why Natalia was making this advance, and that the timing of it was rather inappropriate for several reasons, yet her eyes involuntarily closed when once again she felt Natalia's breath against her neck. A shiver spread itself out deliciously from her shoulder blades and down her spine.

Natalia slowly placed a tentative kiss upon the spot that her breath was warming – just a whisper of a touch – and reveled in the sudden rush of air that it pushed from Olivia's lungs. She paused to see whether Olivia would push her away again or begin to play along, but Olivia didn't move. She aimed another kiss at the side of the long throat and felt Olivia move her head to the side to give her better access. She let her tongue slip past her lips to taste the soft skin.

Olivia fought to keep her hands still and remain in control, but the reality of what Natalia was offering was waging a war against her willpower. "Natalia," she tried to put an end to the slow ministrations of Natalia's lips against her neck. "This isn't a good idea," she said, her trembling voice doing nothing to make her sound convincing.

The brunette drew back far enough to be able to look into Olivia's worried eyes. She ignored the woman's weak protest and she raised her hand to glide her fingertips along Olivia's jawline. She couldn't help but smile seductively when she passed her thumb lightly across Olivia's soft, full lower lip. Seeing the look of concern mixing with lust on the other woman's face caused Natalia to feel a need so strong it hit her like a sucker-punch to the gut.

"I disagree," she said in a silky low tone. "I think this could a very, very good idea." She drew Olivia slowly down to her. She wanted to kiss instead of think. Wanted to touch instead of worry. Passion was something she could actually control, and when she felt Olivia's lips against her own, she was done with thought. Nothing else needed to exist at that moment but delicious sensations. She needed more. She sought to deepen the kiss, trying to capture the luscious lower lip between hers, and Olivia allowed it for a few seconds before began putting up resistance, gently prying herself away an inch.

"Natalia, wait...

Olivia's eyes were glued to the sensual lips that had just left her own. She felt the familiar tendrils of desire that bade her to move in for another kiss, but she quickly decided against it.  I choose now to discover my conscience... wonderful! she lamented, though she knew that no matter how badly her body craved the contact, there was not enough desire in the world that could make it okay to take advantage of Natalia's fragile state. She was fairly certain that it was indeed grief that was controlling Natalia's movements.

"We can't do this," she said with a somewhat laboured breath. It didn't sound as adamant as she had hoped, but admittedly she was simultaneously trying to convince herself.

Natalia loosened her grip around the taller woman's waist and staggered back a step, the look on her face going from confusion, to embarrassment, and then to dismay in rapid succession. She had thrown herself at the older woman in attempt to rescue herself from the sea of hurt in which she was drowning.  She knew there was no point in trying to hide any of the emotions from her eyes, but she sent her gaze to the floor, unable to look at Olivia.

"It's just..." Olivia continued. Shit, make something up, quick! "Emma..." she pointed to the hallway. "We can't, well... not right now." The broken sentence was all Olivia could come up with in her flustered state. She didn't want her decision to pull away to seem like a rejection.

Natalia brought her eyes up and searched the other woman's face, hoping for a moment that Olivia would change her mind. As her cheeks reddened, she lowered her eyes once more and shook her head in disbelief of her own actions. "No, yeah I know... I don't know why I just..." She attempted to recover herself as she slowly backed up blindly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." She pulled the tie of her robe tighter and held the top closed with one hand while the other arm wrapped itself around her waist, backing up until she was once again against the counter.

"Don't apologize. I get it. I just... " God, this is awkward. "Raincheck?" She ended with a weak smile.

The brunette shook her head again and smiled. Taking a deep breath she straightened her shoulders and regained a confident pose. "You wish." She smirked briefly and then gave a look that could have been the equivalent to a non-verbal "Thank-you."

Olivia's own shoulders relaxed somewhat as she rocked back on her heels and clasped her hands together. "So, um, I should..." She motioned to towards to other room and moved to the open the door.

"Yeah, okay. " Natalia said as she turned to face the mirror and resumed combing at wet strands of long hair with her fingers. "And just give me a call later... whenever." The attempt at nonchalance sounded pathetic to her own ears.

The older woman nodded and moved out into the hall, pausing momentarily to catch a glimpse of the sad eyes watching her in the mirror before she closed the door. Although she had done the 'right' thing, she hardly felt like giving herself on pat on the back. In fact, she hesitated in even letting go of the doorknob. She simply stood there staring at the door between her and Natalia. Her usual self-pleasing persona argued with her seldom seen sensitive side. Thoughts such as: "Who am I to govern how this woman grieves? She's a big girl, she knows what she's doing", were warring with the part of her that asked, "Who is this woman and when did she become so much more important to me than my own needs?"

Damn-it, either go back in there or let go of the damn doorknob! Olivia closed her eyes tightly and grimaced as if in physical pain from letting go and moving away. When she passed the living room she called to her daughter. "Okay, Emmabug, let's go get ready to go out. Momma needs to take a shower."



A looong, cold shower!