Chapter 41

Chapter Rating: PG








“Mom, can't we just go next door and get Natalia now?”

Olivia looked at her watch. It had been twenty minutes since the younger woman had left to go get ready to accompany them to the hotel pool.

It seemed ridiculous to be worrying about whether or not something could have changed Natalia's mind during the short walk between suites. Unfortunately, worrying was second nature to Olivia now, as far as this new 'friendship' was concerned. She reached across the sofa to pull her cell phone out of her purse.

“You're not going to do work now, are you?” Emma asked, anxiously. She rarely got to spend the entire day with her mother. And even though Natalia was tagging along with them, she didn't seem to mind. It felt good to have the other woman there.

For Olivia, the time had been spent making sure that she didn't lose precious ground to Natalia's seemingly insurmountable doubts and fears. But they had laughed and teased. And although they bickered back and forth and had done their best to 'one-up' each other in terms of cheap-shots, it no longer felt as though they were trying to keep score. She had no idea how long this truce would last once Antonio Rivera's decision was made about the merger of the two companies. She'd been pushing to make a stronger connection today, because she didn't know what to expect come tomorrow.

Now she wondered if she had pushed too hard.

She looked over to her daughter, who was still looking expectantly between her and the cell-phone.

“No... No, Baby,” she said assuredly. “I'm just going to call Natalia and see if she's ready to go.”

“Oh, okay.” Emma relaxed again, thankful that at least something was being done to help move them in the direction of the swimming pool.

“I never get any of my messages when this thing is on vibrate!” Olivia was completely annoyed to have missed at least seven calls and text messages. She flipped through the list of names and found that Andrew had tried to reach her, four times. If there was anything worth saying to her, Andrew would probably be the only one capable of saying it without the fear of losing his job or his head. She opened the first of his three text messages.

“My friend, Ashley... she has a cell-phone, ya know?” Emma said this tentatively, as she knew it was a subject that her mother had closed on more than one occasion. “She says it's because she just has to be in the...” Emma paused as she watched her mother's facial expression turn serious, “...know,” she finished.

Olivia had lunged forward onto the edge of the couch. Her left hand immediately shot up to cover her mouth.

In her mother's eyes, she saw shock and a bit of panic.

“Mom?”

Olivia didn't answer but instead her eyes drifted, out of focus, and she simply breathed out...

“Oh... my... god!”

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Andrew was on the phone with Greg. Greg was on the phone with a Springfield Daily News reporter. The newspaper had been contacted by a journalist from L.A., whom – after having been tipped off by the hotel's staff – had discovered what the wealthy hotelier from their town had been up to in California. The proposed merger had just become public, and the hunt for a comment from Olivia about the day's events was on.

“Greg, I have absolutely no idea what Olivia has to say about the issue. I'm not wearing three inch heels and snapping the heads off of unsuspecting employees at the moment, so it is very safe to say that I am not Olivia Spencer.” The completely stressed-out financial adviser flipped open his cell phone and simply pressed 'redial'. “Yes, I am extremely aware of the importance in finding her,” he shot back with an annoyed tone as he held the cell phone up to his free ear. “I have been doing this job for quite some time... I don't know what to tell them either. Just tell them that she's in a conference with her team and will not be available for comment until this evening... Hold on...” The cell phone only had to ring once and finally he heard the voice he had so desperately been needing to hear for hours now.

“Greg, I'm going to have to call you back, I've got her on another line... No! You can have her when I'm finished; wait your damned turn!” With that, Andrew hung up on Olivia's frazzled personal assistant.

-----------------------------------------------------------

“What the fuck is going on?”

“Mommy, language...”

“Sorry, Baby... No, not you, you idiot. Emma!”

“What?” asked the little girl.

“No...” Olivia sighed, “Em, I'm on the phone with Uncle Andy, could you please sit down for just a moment?... Okay, I'm here. What happened?”

Emma huffed and sank down onto the cushion beside her mother. “You said you were calling Natalia”, the child's voice clearly conveyed her impatience.

“She shouldn't be far. Let me go see if she's in her suite.”

“I'm coming too!”

“Emma! Sit!... I don't know, Andrew. I thought I would hear my cell phone, but it was in my purse on vibrate... Yes, I know, never again.” Olivia had crossed the hall to Natalia's room and began to knock on her door.

“Mom, I want to go to the pool now!” The little girl had followed Olivia to the doorway. It was unlike Emma to misbehave, but her mother seemed confused and upset – two emotions that were swiftly transferring to the young child.

“Emma, for the last time, go and sit down. Now! Mommy is busy.” Olivia turned back around to the other hotelier's door and knocked loudly once again. “She probably got the message and is on the way to the hospital to check on his condition. If he's alert, someone should let him know that she'll be there soon.” Olivia silently wondered if it was a terribly selfish thing to be glad that she had not been stood up by the younger woman. Deep down she knew the answer to that question and she felt ashamed.

Her inner thought process had distracted her from what Andrew had said.

“What was that?” she asked as she made her way back to her own suite. She shut the door and walked toward her now very disgruntled daughter. “Well, I just opened the one text message; the message that said that he had been rushed to the hospital.” Olivia stopped her forward motion.

“Why?”

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It had begun as soon as he exited the hospital doors. The cameras, the reporters and the questions. Most people in his situation would have had trouble dealing with the media during a time like this. But not Mateo Rivera. While others might get lost in the confusion and chaos, not to mention the onslaught of many deep emotions, Mateo was in his element. This was, after all, the only reason he had put up with being a Rivera in the first place – the fame and the fortune. He loved nothing better than to schmooze with the paparazzi, just to see how many photos and interviews he could get published in the tabloids. His inherent charm and charisma had worked in his favor, and he was well liked by the media. And on this particular occasion, Mateo was quite pleased to see how many people were clamoring to get at him. So pleased that he nearly forgot which expression he should have been wearing and almost smiled.

Almost.


“Mateo!”

There were many voices calling his name, but this one sounded familiar. The young man turned around to see Jacques, who was motioning him to come back inside the doors. Annoyed at the interruption of the attention he was about to receive, he made his way over to the eldest Rivera's 'right-hand-man'.

“We need to find your sister.”

Mateo grunted, “No, you need to find the woman... I need to have a drink!”

“You haven't spoken to her?”

“Do I ever?” Mateo shot back, rather disrespectfully. He turned and looked back at the curious crowd that was seemingly growing by the minute. Hospital security teams were trying to keep everyone to the side to avoid congesting the pathway. “If you will excuse me, old man, I must make an exit.” He said, with an eerily excited grin.

As he turned to walk out the doors, both he and Jacques caught sight of a familiar car pulling up to the front walkway.

The figure that emerged did so in a hurry – the keys were left in the ignition, car still running. No handbag, nor cell phone. Nothing but a lost expression on her pale face.

The cameras turned to the newcomer, and the crowd surged immediately past the security guards who fought to keep them at bay.

Mateo rolled his eyes, and sighed under his breath as the young woman came their way.

“Fabulous.”

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“Where is she, Andrew?” There was no mistaking the expression on her mother's face as she spoke to Uncle Andy on the phone. Something bad had happened. This was all that Emma knew, and she was rapidly becoming just as anxious.

“I don't know if you've missed it, but half of California is looking for her right now.” Andrew responded.

“Where is who, Mommy? Natalia?”

“Yes, Baby. Give Mommy a few minutes, please...” she turned back to the receiver. “What hospital is everyone at right now?”

Emma's eyes went wide. “Is Natalia in the hospital?”

Olivia once again covered the phone with her hand and tried to calm Emma down. “No, Emma, Natalia is fine... well not exactly fine, but she isn't hurt. Okay?” Olivia ran her fingers through her daughter's hair a couple of times. “I'm sorry Mommy is being confusing, but it's very important that I talk to Andrew alone for a moment. Please, Emma, can you go to the other room for a bit?”

The little girl hesitated.

“Emmabug... Please do this for me?” Olivia waited until Emma slowly slid off the couch, clearly unhappy about being left out of a discussion involving their new friend. “Thank you, Sweetie.”

Olivia resumed her phone conversation.

“Hôtel-Dieu Grace.”

“Pardon me?” Olivia responded.

“The name of the hospital... Hôtel-Dieu Grace.”

“How fitting.”

“She isn't there, though.”

“She just left my room less than a half hour ago.”

Andrew paused.

Olivia suddenly realized why, and she closed her eyes.

“She was with you?” Andrew said slowly.

Olivia sighed, “Yes.”

“Huh... And you were together all morning and early afternoon?”

“Mmhm.” Olivia shook her head, knowing where the conversation was headed.

“With your cell phones off,” Andrew stated, as he processed what he was hearing.

“Okay, listen...”

“Nope!... Noooo!,” Andrew cut her off. “If you have any respect for me, you will allow me a few more long seconds with this visual.”

Olivia leaned back against the couch and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“And you aren't going to tell me that it's not what I'm thinking... are you?”

“No, I am not.”

“Because..."

Olivia took another deep sigh. “Because it is... sort of... what you're thinking. Probably just a really censored, PG version, however.”

There was another pause.

“Woooooow.”

“We'll talk about this another time, okay?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely!”

“Right now I need to find out where she is, and if she's okay.”

Andrew's tone became serious again. “I'll call Jacques. You get in touch with Greg before his pretty little head explodes.”

Olivia was just about to hang up. “Andrew?” She said in a much softer voice.

“Still here.”

She hesitated. “The other day... when I was talking about suddenly being able to care about someone else, and how I'm changing...” Olivia couldn't finish the sentence.

“Hey,” Andrew said knowingly. “I'll find out where she is.”

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The flashbulbs of a dozen cameras had disoriented her. She was vaguely aware that she had left the car running. She wasn't sure if she had even brought a purse or not. If she had, it, too, was in the car. There were voices calling to her from all directions, and yet, there was no reason to respond to any of them. She saw the front doors to the hospital and forced her weak legs to carry her towards them.

Natalia hated this hospital. She despised its familiarity.

Jacques and Mateo were standing just inside the doorway; she could see them waiting for her to get to them. Somewhere in her mind she thought that seeing family should have made her feel less scared and small. It did not.

As she opened the doors, she chose not to look at her half-brother, who she knew would be no source of comfort to her whatsoever.

Before she could speak, a member of the hospital staff came rushing over to her, giving her a list of credentials, explanations, handing her a sheet to sign... saying he was 'sorry'. She was watching his lips as they moved. They seemed to move quite a bit slower than they should be for the speed at which the information seemed to be flying at her. Nothing he said made any sense. Everyone around her seemed to be speaking a foreign tongue.

In the middle of the man's sentence, Natalia cut him off with the only words she could get out.

“Where is he?”

The gentleman looked a bit confused at the question. “Ms. Rivera... Again, I'm very sorry... Your father is gone.”

Natalia heard this, and understood. But she looked up at the taller man with a blank expression and a vacant stare. She felt as she had when she was five years old, and had gotten lost at the carnival: tugging on stranger's pant legs and asking where her Daddy was. No one could tell her then; they could see she was afraid, and no one could help her.

“Where is he?”

Glances were exchanged between the men at door and the gibberish-speaking hospital attendant. The next thing Natalia knew, she was being led down a narrow, crowded corridor. The buzzing of the fluorescent lighting overhead simply added to the chaotic cacophony going on around her. Joining in that jarring blend were the dinging heart monitors and I.V. machines. The wheels of medicine and food-tray carts screeched as they rolled on by, and rubber souls on the newly waxed floors were squeaking as nurses and interns rushed from one end of the hallway to the other.

So loud, she thought. Too loud.

While she did her best to force her legs to cooperate as they moved down the corridor, her mind had simultaneously begun its own painful journey.

To her left, she saw that one of the doors to an examination room had been left open. Inside, she saw herself as a six year old child sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, crying. Her arm was being placed in a sling as her father, unable to reach his daughter because of the nurse and doctor in his way, paced back and forth – speaking words of comfort in between a lecture about climbing trees.

She was quickly startled back into the present when two nurses came careening out of one of the rooms – nearly knocking her down – to tend to an emergency in another wing. She stumbled a little, but with the aid of the slow-lipped man who accompanied her, she regained her balance and continued down the path.

Through another opened door to her right, Natalia passed yet another upsetting scene. She saw herself again, but this time as a teenager. Angry and betrayed. Weak and frightened. Lying back in the bed, shivering, but not from the cool air. She was yelling. Screaming at her father to go away. To leave the room. To leave her life. Pleading with the nurse to go get security.
She felt the pain of that day and it was almost too much for her to bear – practically overwhelming in fact – until, suddenly, the hospital attendant stopped in front of another room. She didn't need to be told which room this was. As a nurse exited the room and the man moved her aside to question her, the door was slowly closing. Natalia caught a glimpse inside... and she knew.

As the nurse spoke with the tall man, Natalia moved towards the door and reopened it slowly. What she saw first was the food cart that she had brought up to her father's room the previous night. She could smell the spices from her dad's favourite dish that she had cooked for him, and could even sense the aftertaste of the wine on her tongue. She took in the sight of the haggard form, sitting slightly slouched over on his couch, as she had last seen him. Completely deflated. The once strong and admired man, beaten down by his life's choices and mistakes. Weary from the burden of his guilt.

She entered the room, just far enough for the door to swing closed behind her.

When the door had finally swung shut, the noises stopped. The screeching and squeaking, the buzzing and dinging. The jumbled words of strangers and the tortured montage of her own past.

Everything was quite. Still.

She was in the room in which her father had died. An empty hospital bed and herself. Nothing else.

Tears began to sting her eyes for the first time as she stood in the empty silence...

Alone.

Chapter 40

Chapter Rating: PG for swearing

Olivia went over the ritual 'Shopping Trip Essentials' list with her daughter as an amused Natalia looked on.


"Purses?"

"Check," Emma answered.

"Comfy shoes?"

"Wearin' them."

"List of things you want to bring back to your best friends?"

"It's in my purse."

Olivia turned to Natalia. "If we don't keep a list, the chances of us visiting every single store in the mall rises significantly."

Natalia smiled.

"Mommy, do you have your credit card, too?" Emma asked eagerly.

"Or, as you mistakenly like to refer to it, 'Mommy's free money card'? Yes, honey, I never leave home without it."

Olivia looked around and clasped her hands together. "Okay. Cell phones on vibrate?"

"Believe it or not, I turned mine off," Natalia stated.

Olivia looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Wow! Brave."

"Well, I figure if there's any emergency at the hotel, Jacques can handle it... I mean, seeing as how he no longer trusts me anyways."

The older woman gave her a sideways glance as she retrieved her purse and moved them all towards the doorway. "I guess that's what you get for trying to be a one-person navigator of a multi-billion dollar ship for a day, huh?"

Natalia bit her cheek and stepped through the opened door. "Let's not go there, shall we?" She warned with a smile.

Olivia smirked. "Now all we need to do is call for a driver."

Emma raced down the hallway towards the elevator. Natalia took her keys out of her purse. "I thought I would chauffeur us around today."

"You drive?"

"Just because I don't have to drive myself, doesn't mean I don't like to do it every once in a while." Natalia caught the look in the other woman's eyes. "And don't you dare steer that into a PG-15 rated direction," she added.

"You make it so easy though."

Natalia snorted. "It's not that I make it easy. It's that you're such a pervert."

Olivia's jaw dropped and she gasped in mock surprise. "You say that as if you know me?"

"Let's just say that it's a very well educated guess." Natalia smiled and the two women turned to walk slowly down the corridor.

"Speaking of you being a 'Know-It-All'... There's only one rule for this trip," Olivia said.

"Sweet Jesus! Are you serious?"

"Hey! Our friendship is at a very vulnerable stage at the moment, and we need to both actively cultivate it while safeguarding it from our usual pitfalls."

Natalia stopped walking and was silent for a few moments before she looked at Olivia with a seemingly serious expression. "So do you schedule all of your meetings around Dr. Phil? Or do you TiVo it so that you don't ever have to worry about missing out on all the action?"

Olivia rolled her eyes and continued walking. "Whatever. Do you want to continue being friends, or not?"

"Ah, yes," Natalia chuckled. "Friends who give each other roses and who randomly want to make-out with each other?" Natalia did laugh at this. "Of course. Who wouldn't want a friendship like that?!" she joked.

Olivia wasn't going to give in to her. "You want to make-out with me?" She laughed at Natalia's expression. "Naughty!"

"You're an ass," Natalia shot back and then sighed. "You said something about a rule? What'ya got... lay it on me."

"And you say I'm the pervert." After being given a gentle swat on the arm, Olivia continued, "Okay. The rule is that no matter what we do today, or what we talk about... just loosen up. Have fun."

"That's it? That is your one rule that is going to save our 'friendship'?" Natalia asked incredulously. "I maintain that I am a very fun person!"

"Uh-huh. Believe it when I see it."

The elevator reached the floor and opened. Olivia motioned for them all to get in.

"Alright. Pack 'em up and move 'em out."

"God. Country girls are so hot," Natalia muttered under her breath.

The doors closed.

"Shut it Rivera."

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The drive to the shopping district took approximately fifteen minutes but, to an excited little girl with a shopping list and the knowledge that several toy stores were about to be visited, those minutes seemed to drag on endlessly. Emma spent the time sitting in the middle of the backseat listening to her mother banter with the driver. She heard her mom make a comment about Natalia's driving, but from the silly grin on her face she knew it was only meant to be a joke. Natalia responded by turning to the girl and telling her that, as long as she was in the car with the them, they had nothing to worry about, but that if it were just the two adults, she couldn't guarantee the same safe results. She watched as her mom laughed at this and, although Emma really didn't know what was so funny, she looked at the side profiles of both women’s faces and giggled also.

Her mom looked happy. A different kind of happy than usual. It made Emma's smile grow even wider and, as she looked intently at the younger woman in the driver's seat, she felt an overwhelming urge to say 'thank you'. For what, though, the little girl was not entirely certain.

The car passed an underground parking spot at the mall that, according to her mother, had enough room to fit a 747 jet plane – an opinion that Natalia quite vocally disagreed with. Emma was sure then that Natalia had almost used a cuss word, and she immediately looked out the window, smiling as she guessed at what that word might have been but not wanting her mother to see that she found the whole thing to be quite hilarious. Having finally parked and unbuckled, the two women took one last shot at each other.

"Hey! I got us here safely, didn't I?", asked the younger woman in annoyance.

"Yes, I'll give you that," Olivia replied. "But, thank god you have your chauffeur's number on speed-dial. I may want to ask him to take us back. Don't want to push our luck in trying that again!"

The mall wasn't as densely populated as the adults had been dreading. The school year had ended long enough ago for the teenagers to have become bored with spending all of their free time hanging around in food courts. Much of the younger crowd had migrated to the beaches, movie theaters, skate parks, etc.

Perfect conditions for shopping with an eight-year-old, Olivia thought as they made their way to the escalators. She searched around for some suitable stores in which she herself could indulge in a bit of 'retail therapy', as she liked to call it, but didn't see any that might have what she was looking for.

Natalia noticed the disappointment on Olivia's face. "Not 'high-end' enough for you, huh?", she teased.

Olivia would have tried to argue, but it was actually a fact. "Yes, and no."

"Don't worry, I only know my way around here because I used to have to give information to our guests. I'll take you to some lovely stores next time you are here. You know... that is, if the Riveras haven't kicked you out of our hotel, or you and I haven't killed each other by the end of this day."

"Sounds wonderful," Olivia responded. "And not just the killing you part."

Thanks to the shopping list,  and with Natalia as their guide, the trio had made their way through all the stores they needed to stop at in a timely manner. There was, however, the occasional 'Pretty please, Mom?' and 'But I really need it!' that were aimed at breaking Olivia's resolve, but to no avail. Olivia had always maintained that although she was wealthy, this did not mean that her child had to be spoiled. Natalia noticed this and quietly respected the other woman for it. She could see that Emma had been taught to have a deep respect for the things she had been given. It was much like the way her parents had raised her and her brother.

When all the souvenirs and gifts had been purchased, Olivia suggested they go back to the hotel for a swim. This, of course, rejuvenated the tired youngster and inspired another fit of excited bouncing and giggles.

Quick glances had been shared between the women, though they individually had tried to do their best not to get caught looking at each other. They were having fun. They weren't having any arguments. They weren't trying to outdo the other in any way. They laughed and teased each other, and in a few instances when they were forced to brush past each other, they felt like teenagers on a first date. Both hoteliers knew that this afternoon's excursion was just what they needed in order to move forward. And although they still had a long road ahead of them in terms of resolving the issues between them, Natalia knew she was exactly where she was supposed to be today. Even with all of the tension at the hotel and with her father, she felt as if she hadn't a care in the world.

They arrived back to Olivia's suite, and the two women fell onto the couch, thankful for the comfort and relief it provided. Emma was sent into her room to organize which presents were going to be given to whom and to get ready to go down to the pool with her mom.

"That was fun." Natalia said lightly as she rested her head on the back of the couch.

Olivia pinched the bridge of her nose and chuckled. "That was torture! Be honest. We spent the day walking around in nothing but toy stores and gifts shops that had nothing but palm trees and sunsets printed on everything they sold."

Natalia turned her body to face Olivia who was right beside her on the couch. "And, it was fun," she maintained.

Olivia turned also. They were now facing each other. Close. Olivia slowly reached out her hand to take Natalia's from her lap and brought it over to her own. Natalia didn't pull away but, instead, kept her gaze steady on Olivia's face. Olivia lightly ran her thumb back and forth over the smooth hand in hers. "So stay with me." Olivia said, suddenly aware of how the sentence sounded. "I mean stay with us... come to the pool with Em and I."

"I should go." Natalia said with little conviction. "I've avoided work all day."

"You turned your phone off and snuck in the side entrance. No one knows you are in the hotel. I doubt Jacques is doing the butterfly-stroke in the deep end of the pool right now, so you won't get caught 'playing hooky'." They both laughed and then shook their heads at the disturbing thought of Jacques wearing a bathing-suit.

"This has been great... spending time together without fighting. But like you said earlier, why push our luck? I really should go." The younger woman looked at the hand that held unto hers. Why am I protesting? I want to stay! she thought to herself, clearly confused about what to do.

Olivia moved closer and leaned in slightly, lowering her voice to almost a whisper. "No. You should stay with me," she said, bringing her other hand up to Natalia's cheek. When Natalia didn't say anything, Olivia leaned forward until their lips touched gently.

Another brief kiss and, yet, the women were once again both amazed at how, even in its simplicity, it could still speak volumes about their complex relationship. The simplest touch was intense. Natalia relaxed into the kiss and allowed Olivia to deepen it. The desire that had been lying just underneath the surface began to intensify. Before the kiss ended Olivia had wondered whether Natalia was going to push her away or pull back. It was a threat that loomed over them now. Olivia had learned to expect the worst and hope for nothing. But in this kiss, one that seemed to be the first 'real' kiss the two had shared despite all of their other encounters, she felt Natalia respond with more than just her lips. They withdrew from each other and neither said a word until Natalia broke the tension with a giggle.

"What's so funny?" Olivia asked.

"I just realized that the only reason you want me to go with you two so badly is so that you can have a legitimate excuse to stare at me in a bikini all afternoon."

Olivia threw her head back. "Ugh! Busted!" She laughed loudly. "But, since you've mentioned a bikini, you do know that you must tag along now."

Natalia looked towards Emma's door. "She's not going to wonder why I've spent the whole day with you?"

"She's smart. It won't take her long to figure it out. And it's okay, Natalia. She likes you."

Natalia sighed.

"Okay, let's not throw any more confusion into things right now. Her mother is asking a friend to come swimming with us. That is that. Life is grand. Now go get your skimpy little bikini on." Olivia tossed Natalia's hand back into its owners lap with a wink.

The brunette made her way to the door and watched Olivia head to her room to change. She was still unsure if spending so much time with Olivia was a good thing or not, but it felt good. If there was one thing Natalia did know it was that she really wanted to feel good.

It's time, she thought to herself as she made her way to her own suite.

She took off her shoes and reached inside her purse to grab her phone, not because she was curious as to what might be going on in the hotel right now, but just to call Sheila to let her know that she wouldn't be in the office. Almost as soon as she turned the cell phone back on, it started vibrating. She went to the kitchen cabinets to get a glass and brought it with her over to the fridge.

"What the fuck? Twelve missed calls and five text messages?! Jesus, people. Even God rested on the seventh day!"

She nudged open the fridge door with her elbow while she pressed the message button on her phone. Before her eyes had finished skimming the first line of the text, the door had slammed into the counter behind it, Natalia's face went ghostly white, and the glass slipped out of her hand and shattered into tiny pieces on the floor.

Chapter 39

Chapter Rating: PG


The only sound that could be heard was of the whirring of the giant anvil as it hurled its way from the heavens and straight down towards the unsuspecting Wiley Coyote's head in the room at the end of the hall.

Olivia's brow furrowed slightly as she studied the expression on the other woman's face. She wasn't much of a poker player, but years spent making high stakes deals in the boardroom had taught her how to read people. What she was trying to gauge at that moment was the sincerity behind the younger woman's words. Instinct was telling her to simply blurt out "Yes, you do! You DO know!" Passion was telling her to quickly lunge the short distance between them and kiss away whatever uncertainty and fear Natalia was still holding onto. And plain old 'Spencer-style' Stubbornness was telling her to rebuild the wall, protecting her heart from disappointment, by having her say "Fine, whatever. Forget I even asked!"

Olivia knew that Logic would win, though, and that none of these other responses, in any case, were going to get her any closer to the beautifully complicated woman.

So what DO I say now? she wondered. She could tell by Natalia's eyes that she wasn't simply trying to be vague for the sake of being gently coerced into saying "Yes." It was obvious that the other hotelier honestly did not know where she stood on the issue.

"I do," was all that Olivia could offer.

Natalia brought her mug up to her lips to take a sip but before doing so asked, "You do, what?"

"I do know... That I want to try."

For as strongly as Olivia had wanted to give herself over to passion and kiss away the doubt, Natalia had been wanting her to do that same thing. No one but she herself knew how badly she had wanted to say 'yes'. She didn't understand what had stopped her but, whatever it was, it was large, and it sat directly in between them on that couch.

"I know you do," Natalia said, looking at the couch cushion in front of her. "To me it just feels like there is too much to 'fix'. It's a bit overwhelming right now."

Olivia quickly identified this as the tiny ray of light that she had been looking for. "Okay..." She set her mug down on the coffee-table. "Okay, so we start out small. One step at a time."

"Starting with...?"

"Friendship."

Natalia nodded her head slowly but gave Olivia a disbelieving look at the same time. "Friendship," she restated slowly.

"Mmhm."

"What's that again?"

"Funny."

"Alright," Natalia said as she set her own mug down. "So how do we do 'friendship'?"

There was a knock at the door, which both women rightly assumed was their breakfast order.

"We are doing it right now," Olivia said as she moved from the couch and walked towards the door. "We're able to have perfectly normal conversations, Natalia. We just both have to want to move forward and stop acting like rivals in a sand- box." The older woman answered the door, received the cart and generously tipped the man delivering it. "Emmabug! Breakfast!"

A moment later, Emma emerged from the hallway and bounced excitedly into the living room area. Noticing the guest on the couch, she halted in mid-hop. Eying Natalia with intrigue, she continued over to the dining room table.

"Hi, Natalia," she said nonchalantly, apparently having quickly made the decision that she approved of the new house-guest.

"Hello, Emma." Natalia watched as Emma pulled out one of the high dining room chairs and climbed up onto it.

Olivia had come back over to the sofa to retrieve her coffee cup.

"Do you think she has caught on to just how foreign children really are to me?" Natalia asked with a slightly worried look.

"You'll be fine." Olivia offered her hand to the other woman to help her up. "You spend most of your time acting like a child anyways," she said with a smirk.

Natalia accepted the gesture. "What can I say?" She placed her hand within Olivia's. "You bring out the best of all the sides of me."

Olivia backed up slowly, leading Natalia around the couch with her. She gave the hand in hers a gentle squeeze. "Well, I am trying."

The two women kept moving, almost getting lost in a meaningful glance.

"Can Natalia sit beside me?" the little girl asked and Natalia quickly let go of Olivia's hand.

"I don't know. I guess you'll have to ask her yourself," Olivia answered.

"You wanna?" The bright-eyed girl looked up at Natalia, expectantly.

"Of course I do," Natalia answered with a smile.

"Did you order me ham and eggs?" Emma asked as her mom set out the covered plates. Both mother and daughter noticed that there were two extra plates on the cart that were of a smaller size than the others. "Whose are those?" inquired the confused child.

"Oh..." Natalia quickly grabbed the two plates before Olivia had a chance to uncover them. "These are just little extras that I ordered for you and your mother." Natalia peaked under the lid of one of them and then handed them accordingly to her two hosts.

Emma made short work of uncovering her gift and her eyes went wide with excitement.

"Hannah Montana tickets!! She's my absolute favorite! How did you know?"

"Ummmm, took a wild guess."

"I'm gonna take Jane 'cause Mommy will just ruin it by asking so many questions."

Olivia feigned shock and hurt feelings. "What?! I have no idea what you mean!"

Natalia turned to Emma. "She isn't coming back to California until the end of next month so maybe if we fill your Mom in on all that will go on in the show, she won't ruin it for you."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I guess it's my turn, huh?"

Natalia looked embarrassed now, "Or you could wait till later, whatever."

"Yeah, right! Emma gets her eagerness and ambition from me." Olivia uncovered her own unexpected present and then looked up at Natalia with a knowing smile. On the small plate was a small envelope labeled 'Spa' which Olivia assumed was a day-pass to the facilities. What had her smiling, however, was the single, short-stemmed lavender rose that lay next to the envelope. The speechless hotelier brought the rose up to her lips. Olivia wondered if this was some sort of confirmation to her earlier question before she remembered that Natalia had ordered the rose before they had begun to talk.

An 'I'm Sorry' rose is better than none, she thought to herself.

Emma giggled at her Mom. "Why'd you get a silly rose?" she asked. "Jane says her boyfriend only gets her roses when he's done something bad."

"Jane has a boyfriend?" Olivia quickly tried to change the subject, more for Natalia's sake than her own.

"Mmhm," Emma replied. "She also says that we only ever get hurt by the people we really care about because if we didn't care then there would be no hurt." The little girl made a confused face. "I don't think I know what that means."

Natalia looked up at Olivia. "Whatever it means, I think Jane might be right."

Emma was sufficiently distracted from her previous question and began to work on the food that had been put in front of her. They all ate a few bites of their meals before she turned her attention back to Natalia. "I think you should have breakfast with us more often."

"You aren't saying that just because you got a free gift out of it, are you?"

The little girl shook her head and giggled. "Mommy never invites anyone over for breakfast. Well, unless it's Uncle Andrew."

Olivia nearly choked on the bite of food she had just taken and couldn't say anything fast enough to stop her daughter from continuing.

"Uncle Andrew? The same Andrew that is here in California with you?" It wasn't obvious to whom Natalia had asked the question, but Emma was the first to respond.

"Yup. And even then, Uncle Andy stays over for the whole night, so he kinda has to have breakfast with us. It's not the same as this." Emma finished, pointing to the three of them.

"Clearly." Natalia looked over at Olivia and raised her eyebrows questioningly at her.

"Emma, Sweetie, finish your eggs, please." Olivia glanced sheepishly at Natalia. "Later," she mumbled to the other woman.

"Most definitely," answered Natalia quietly. Her entire posture had changed as she took in the new information that the child beside her had inadvertently provided her.

Emma herself had moved on. "Do you know how to make pancakes, Natalia?"

The younger woman shifted the focus of her thoughts, "Yes, I do. Why do you ask?"

"Because, maybe if you stay over, you can make me pancakes for breakfast."

It was Natalia's turn to choke. "I... uhhh..."

"Sounds like a fantastic idea to me," gloated Olivia with a chuckle. She raised her juice glass and winked at Natalia.

"I'm not at all certain about the 'staying over' part, but one of these days I would love to make you some pancakes," Natalia answered.

"Tomorrow?" Emma asked.

"Emmabug, let's not assume that we can take up all of Natalia's time..."

"Pleeeaase!"

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "She's a persistent one."

"Like mother like daughter, no?" Natalia quipped.

"Darn, you beat me to it."

"She doesn't happen to know Henry the Eighth, does she?"

The two women finished their meals as Emma talked about how excited she was about going to the concert.

"Emma, if you're finished with your plate, can you bring it over to the cart and go get ready to go shopping?"

Her daughter complied and skipped off towards her bedroom.

Natalia pushed her chair aside, as did Olivia, and the two of them began to clear the rest of the table. Olivia watched Natalia closely. The brunette's demeanor had shifted slightly.

"I will thank you now, for the both of us, for our presents. Though I suspect Emma will be thanking you from now until the end of next month, and beyond. She's just a little excited right now."

Natalia smiled, but didn't look up. "You are both welcome. Just trying to do something... friendly."

The table was cleared in silence and Natalia then moved over to the couch to retrieve her purse. "I suppose I should let you get ready for your afternoon excursions now." She began to move to the door.

Olivia followed closely behind and darted ahead of her to get to the doorway first. She kept her hand on the knob and stood there instead of opening it for Natalia. "You doing anything this afternoon?"

Natalia smirked. "I probably have a thousand pieces of boring paperwork that I should get around to taking care of at some point. Why? Are you asking me out on a 'shopping date'?"

"Maybe."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have Uncle Andy join you instead?"

Olivia knew it was bothering Natalia and that it would have to be addressed soon. She took a step forward. "Hey... Andrew isn't here. He hasn't 'stayed over' in quite some time. And he is not the one who I am standing in front of, asking out on a 'shopping date'. Okay?"

When Natalia didn't respond right away and merely looked at the floor, Olivia took a quick glance towards the hallway and, seeing no movement there, stepped forward again until she was within an inch of the other woman. She lifted Natalia's chin with her index finger.

"I loved my rose, by the way."

"You're such a girl," Natalia joked even as she stared into the mesmerizing green eyes before hers.

Olivia dipped her head slowly down and brought her lips close to Natalia's.

"As are you," she whispered and gave the breathless woman a quick but sweet kiss. "And I don't think either of us are minding that at all." She smiled and pulled back when she heard her daughter's bedroom door open.

"Sheila was telling me yesterday that you never give her enough work to do," Olivia said as she folded her arms. "I think maybe she should help you with your 'paperwork' and you should come with us this afternoon."

Natalia laughed. "Oh really?"

The older woman looked at her daughter. "Whad'ya say? Should we sing to her until she says yes?"

Natalia held up her hands in surrender. "No no no! No need. I will call Sheila from my room."

Olivia gave her a wink and opened the door for her. "Meet back here in half an hour?"

"If you are certain that's all the time you need to make yourself look at least half-decent, then sure."

Natalia moved through the door and, on her way out, she caught Olivia's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"See you soon."

-----------------------------------------------------------

The phone rang while Natalia was quickly trying to brush her teeth and decide what to wear, simultaneously. She spit the frothy paste out into the sink and searched the other room for her cell.

"Natalia Rivera."

"Hello, Natalia, it's Jacques."

"Okay." Natalia said in a neutral tone. "And?"

"I was just wondering if you had heard from your father this morning. He was supposed to meet us down here for a review of the proposal and..."

"I haven't heard from him." She cut him off, not wanting to be reminded of the largest subject of disagreement between her and Olivia right before they were about to spend the day together.

"Yes, but it's just that he is quite late and..."

"I don't have time to wander around looking for my father, Jacques. I haven't seen him since I had dinner with him last night. He must have gotten tied up on a business call or something. I don't know, but I have to go now."

She hung up the phone and tried to put any thoughts about the merger out of her mind. Looking at her phone, she decided to put the damned thing on 'Silent' for the afternoon.

"Sorry, Jacques. More urgent matters to attend to today," she said into the silence of her room and smiled.


"My missing father will just have to wait."

Chapter 38

Chapter Rating: PG

A few seconds. Just silence and stares... and a new emotion.

This moment. Capture, copy, print and hang on the mind's memo-board as a reminder that it would be nice to try and recreate this in the near future. Both women took the time and refused to rush into thoughts. They simply saw and felt.

And enjoyed.

It was the sound of Emma calling to her mother from her position in front of the television in her room that finally brought the two women back to the reality.

"Mommy. Is that my breakfast?" she yelled.

Olivia cleared her throat and broke the gaze to turn her head towards her daughter's room.

"No, baby. Why don't you get dressed and come on out here? You can tell me what you want to eat... and we can also stop shouting through the apartment." She turned back to Natalia and was about to speak.

"What?!" Emma's hollering halted her train of thought.

Natalia smiled and Olivia rolled her eyes in frustration, but smirked all the same. "Have you had breakfast yet?" she asked the younger woman who was still leaning against the doorway.

"Not yet."

"Got anywhere you need to be?"

"Nope. But..." Natalia looked away from Olivia, towards the door and then at the ground.
Why the hell am I so shy?! "I really don't want to disturb y–"

Before she could finish the sentence, Olivia had crossed her left arm in front of her, curled her fingers around Natalia's forearm and gently, but purposefully, pulled the other hotelier into the suite.

"Shut the door behind you," Olivia dropped the arm and walked towards the counter that she had left the phone upon only moments ago. " And, for heaven's sake, take off your shoes. One of the owners here is a real bitch... she'll try and sue me for damages to the property if she sees scuff marks." She winked at Natalia as she handed her the phone. "A continental breakfast for me. I'll go ask Em what she wants. Order yourself something. My treat."

"You do realize that I own the kitchen, yes?" Natalia said, not in haughtiness but in honest confusion. She'd never had to pay, directly, for a single morsel of food from the hotel in her life.

Olivia stopped at the hallway entrance to where Emma's room was situated and turned around. "Yes, Ms. Rivera, I am well aware of that," she said evenly. "I also know that you're completely missing the point... it's a matter of principal."

Natalia was certain that Olivia was right; she did feel as though she was missing something. "Principal?"

"Yes. You are an unannounced visitor who has stopped by to say 'Hello'. I have invited you in to share a meal with my daughter and I. When we come by to visit you, you can return the favor."

"I see..." Natalia said hesitantly.

Olivia laughed and shook her head. "No, you don't... but you will eventually. It's how friendships work. Let's just try it on for a few minutes and see how it fits... okay?" Olivia didn't wait for an answer but, instead, turned and made her way down the hall to get Emma's meal order.

Natalia smiled and flopped herself down on the couch that faced away from the kitchen and the rooms. She called down to the restaurant to place her order with the head chef himself. She knew who was usually working mornings and she had a special request today. After speaking with him and placing her and Olivia's orders, she yelled down the hallway. "Hey Spencer... do we know what the small-ish Spencer would like to eat?"

Olivia came out of the room laughing. "Ham and eggs, says the 'small-ish' one."

Natalia relayed the message to the chef and set the phone on the end table. She turned sideways on the couch and watched Olivia trying to find everything she needed to make them some coffee.

"Please tell me you take your coffee black," the older woman asked without turning around.

"Why? Does it scream something about my personality if I say that I don't?"

"Absolutely!" Olivia answered in jest. "That, and I haven't any cream or sugar."

"Black is fine," Natalia laughed.

"Well, it has to be, but thank you for playing along. Can't have you ruining my reputation as being the perfect hostess."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Olivia brought two coffees over and handed Natalia hers.

"Thanks," said the brunette. She waited for Olivia to finish getting comfy before lifting her eyes from the mug resting on her lap.

There was a beat of awkward silence before Natalia finally spoke.

"So..."

"Soooo..."

"So ummm... Well, this is me..." Natalia made a gesture indicating herself being in the room "...making an effort."

Olivia took a sip of her coffee, all the while staring directly at the woman who was not more than a couple of feet way from her. "Mmhm?" she said with a smirk. "This is also 'you' first thing in the morning, huh?" The same gesture was waved at Natalia's ensemble of light blue jogging pants and an over-sized t-shirt.

"In all my glory."

"Nice!" Olivia teased and took another sip to cover her huge smile.

"Hey," Natalia retorted and pointed a finger at Olivia's own visage. "If this is what you look like first thing in the morning, I may just reconsider saying what I came here to say."

The older woman smiled briefly but quickly broke eye contact, and her smile faded as she stared into her coffee cup. "Which is..."

Natalia took a deep breath and reached forward to set her mug unto a coaster on the table. When she sat back, she turned sideways again to face Olivia and brought her feet up to the cushion in front of her, wrapping her arms tightly around her legs. She tried, but was unable, at first, to look the other woman in the eyes. She, instead, watched her own fingers trace the seam of her pant-leg.

"The other day..." She began, nervously clearing her throat. "I had no intention of that happening... completely unpremeditated." She looked up, somewhat thankful that Olivia was still staring into her coffee cup.

"It may not have been planned, but it was calculated," Olivia said calmly but in a firm tone of voice.

Natalia made no effort to defend herself. "Yes." She stated. "What you said, out in the hallway that night... about me just trying to make a point... " They both looked at each other now. "You were right."

Olivia didn't know what she had been expecting to hear or hoping to, for that matter. But she did know that it wasn't that the whole thing had just been a game. She looked out into the room.

"I was angry," Natalia continued. "And you yourself must admit that you were purposely trying to infuriate me."

Olivia hesitated. "In the beginning? No. I actually had good intentions at first there."

"But they went out the window that we–" Natalia suddenly stopped when she remembered that Emma was somewhere in the suite and most likely within earshot, "...made, uhhh, cookies? In front of?" She shrugged her shoulders when Olivia nearly spit out the sip of coffee she had just taken.

The amused woman held out her hand to indicate she was okay and tried to regain her composure. "No... that's a good one," she laughed. "Made cookies... yes. I can admit that the moment I saw you I got a bit... competitive."

"You once again threatened to take my things away from me, told me I had to obey you, and then called me a sexually frustrated freak of nature."

Olivia grimaced as she reflected upon her own behavior that morning. "I did do that, didn't I?"

Natalia nodded slowly. "Mhmm. And I think I know why you did that, also."

Olivia cocked an eyebrow at the other woman. "Enlighten me," she said as she propped her arm against the back of the couch and rested her temple on her fist.

"You were acting that way because it's so much easier for us to fight then it is to have an honest, grown-up discussion."

"We are doing just fine right now, aren't we?"

"How many times have you wanted to either say something inappropriate or mean?"

"Only five. You?"

"At least seven," Natalia smiled slightly. She reached over to pick up her coffee and took a sip. Thumbing the rim of the mug, she resumed her serious expression and tone. "The reason we aren't fighting at this moment is because we both know that now that we've... mixed the 'dough'... you and I are well on our way to turning up the heat."

Olivia gave her a sideways glance with a brief flash of a mischievous gleam in her eyes that did not go unnoticed.

"And..." Natalia quickly continued in order to try and redirect wherever Olivia's thoughts were taking her. "We can both clearly recognize that with the way things are between us as of right now, 'turning up the heat' can only lead to one – if not both – of us getting burned."

Olivia nodded in agreement.

Natalia focused intently upon the beautiful green eyes staring back at her. "I understand that I've already burned you by the way I left things that morning," she said softly.

Olivia dropped her eyes to her lap and the expression on her face changed immediately.

It was slight, but Natalia could tell that she was trying to hold in any sign of the pain or anger that she still felt over the cruel way she had been treated directly following the intimacy the two had shared.

"Spencer... please look at me." Natalia waited patiently as the other woman took a deep breath, let it out, and then raised her eyes once again.

They held each other’s gaze for a few seconds before Natalia spoke directly into Olivia's soul with both her words and the look in her eyes.


"I am sorry."


Olivia looked away and said nothing.


"I know you may not believe me, but–"


"I do."


"...but I mean it."


"I believe you."


"And while I can say that – and know without a doubt that it's true – I also have to be honest and tell you how easy it was for me to treat you that way."

Olivia looked up at Natalia questioningly.

"It was easy for me because, although a lot has changed between both you and I together, and within ourselves separately since we've met..." Natalia looked down at her own mug once again. "This is who I am. And that is what I do."

Olivia's mind began to race as she tried to process what had just been said even as the younger woman continued.

"And I also know that I am obviously going to need more than a day to figure out why I do that."

There was silence as Olivia pondered.

"I see," was the only slow response that the older woman could manage at that moment.

"The thing is... I don't see it getting any better with you. There is already so much instability in this... well, whatever this is. And way too much animosity, also."

"You are absolutely right," agreed the other hotelier, much to Natalia's surprise. "So how do we go about fixing that?"

Olivia hadn't meant to sound overly eager considering she hadn't any idea whether or not Natalia was even interested in 'fixing' anything between them.

Natalia looked at her and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know," she responded.

Olivia brought her mouth to the hand that had been holding up her head moments before. She rubbed the back of two of her fingers against her lips as she contemplated asking her next question. She hesitated but decided that she needed to hear the answer.

"Do you want to try?"

Natalia couldn't look away but her focus became less on the woman sitting next to her and more upon the myriad of thoughts flooding her mind.

Say 'yes' Rivera! her brain screamed at her. For fuck's sake, say 'YES'!!

So many emotions. Such little faith. She whispered her reply...


"I don't know."

Chapter 37

Chapter Rating: PG

I wonder how this whole 'You come to me' thing is going to work?

This was almost the first thought on Olivia's mind after she hit the alarm clock on her bedside table. It was preceded only by 'When was the last time I actually got to wake up naturally?' and was almost tied with 'Oh yay, rain!'

An intermittent drizzle had turned into a brief downpour just before she had opened her eyes. Every so often the wind would blow the heavy drops into the window pane at the other end of the bedroom, creating almost an oceanic sound of waves crashing against a rocky shore. A picture-less memory washed over her; a sense of nostalgia that she could not quite place, but that nearly soothed her back into slumber.

She let out a deep breath and rolled onto her back. In the middle of the bed now, she stretched her arms out and up to tuck her hands under each of the plush pillows on either side of her head. She watched her thoughts play out above the bed; watched different scenarios being displayed on the off-white backdrop of the ceiling.

How will this whole thing go down? she wondered. Should she even contact me today, that is...

All that Olivia had asked for was one day. An entire day away from each other. Somehow, whether it was subconscious or intentional, the two women seemed to crash into each other’s orbits when they should actually be far enough away to take a moment to calm down and regroup. They had both needed time to themselves. To pause and try to think clearly about what had happened thus far, as well as what might occur in the future should they decide to continue traveling down the winding road that they were already barreling down. She herself had demanded the time and space. And yet, as thankful as she was for it and as beneficial as it had been for her, she wanted to go to Natalia.

And that was all she saw on the ceiling for a few moments. That was all she felt. The need to go to her. 'Why?' and 'What for?' seemed inconsequential. She had no idea what she would even say to her when they saw each other again. But just to see her... that was all.

Just to see her.

She shoved the pillow under her left hand over her face and moaned an emotionally pained sigh.

How do 'normal' people walk around living their daily lives when they are constantly being tormented by 'feelings'? The pillow came off of her face and her eyes went back to the ceiling. It wasn't showing her anything. Thanks for the help, normally over-active Imagination!! She took a long breath and expelled it exaggeratedly.

"Okay, let's start off small. If she decides to come and see you today..."

Olivia saw the two of them 'bumping into each other' in the hallway, or coincidentally, sharing an elevator again.

"NO!" She actually yelled at the ceiling. No elevators right now... counter-productive. Better to have an honest discussion or at least lay out some more ground rules first. Every battle has its 'rules of engagement'.

No more ceiling scenes.

Are we going to continue to do battle with each other? she wondered.

She now saw the two of them in another yelling match over one of their favourite 'differences of opinion'. This was not how she wanted their meeting to go.

"Okay... so far I see this going the way it's always gone... fighting, or sex!" She rolled her eyes at herself. Isn't this why I took some time yesterday? To think about how to change things? Gain some common ground?

The previous day had shown her much about their current situation... thanks to one slimy house-pet. She now had a little more of an understanding as to why Natalia might be running away and, also, that she had to try and be a little less aggressive in trying to bring Natalia out of her 'shell'. She had no idea, though, about how to pursue the issue now. Only that it needed to be pursued.

Her brain took a quick break and she lay there, listening to the 'waves' hit the window, shifting to a new spot in the bed that hadn't been warmed by her body-heat, her skin enjoying the momentary coolness of the sheets. Her cell phone suddenly went off.

Normally, Olivia Spencer would answer the phone for no one unless she had already partaken in, at the very least, half of her first morning coffee. This morning, however, the 'What if it's her?' excitement level of a kid waiting for Santa kicked her ass out of the bed and moved her over to the purse pocket that housed her phone. Reading the name on the display caused a smirk.

Score one for child-like enthusiasm. She pressed the talk button.

"Couldn't wait to hear the sound of my voice again, could you?"

"Your voice grates on my nerves, actually."

"What?! It's downright melodic! Like a choir of heavenly angels."

"Grates them until they are shredded raw."

"Chorus of little birdies?"

"Gaggle of Geese."

Olivia sighed. "Fine! If it's not my sultry and seductive voice you called for..." She could have sworn she actually heard Natalia smile. She reached for a pair of jeans and maneuvered herself into them whilst keeping the small phone to her ear with her shoulder.

"Well, it has been over an entire day since you've had the pleasure of hearing mine, so I thought I wouldn't deprive you of it any longer." Natalia joked.

"Awww, how sweet of you. I think it's super adorable when you tell me you've missed me."

"Keep talking, Spencer, really... I can pretend that you amuse me for at least another six minutes."

Olivia smiled and grabbed a t-shirt from her wardrobe. "Six whole minutes? Your annoyance threshold is increasing these days, Rivera. I knew I'd rub off on you eventually..."

Silence.

Shit!! Olivia closed her eyes tightly and chided herself. Shit, shit, SHIT!

"Unintentional pun, please disregard." The truth was all Olivia could offer up as a cover.

"Relax, Spencer. You're actually a lot funnier when you don't try."

Olivia breathed a sigh of relief.

"But, since we've not so lightly merged into that line of discussion... Is there any room in that hectic schedule of yours for us to get together today and talk?"

"Hold on," Olivia set the phone down and threw the t-shirt over her head. She opened the drawer and searched for a pair of socks before picking the phone back up. "Sorry. Had to check the day's busy agenda."

"You're frantically getting dressed, aren't you?" Natalia said with a chuckle. "You think I want to see you right away, don't you?"

Olivia stopped what she was doing, which at that moment was trying to find a brush with which to comb out her disheveled mop of bed-head. Natalia was right. She hated when Natalia was right.

"No!" she denied, over-emphatically.

"Wow... Eagerness, for the win!"

Olivia huffed. "Whatever... You're the one who is calling me at 8 a.m."

Natalia paused. "Good point. So, how does it look for that civil conversation... in a neutral environment, today?"

"I have a few conditions I would like to cover before I answer that..."

"Ooofff course you do..."

"Hey! I may be 'eager'... but I'm not irrational. History tells us that you and I need restrictions and guidelines. Will you play along?... Or should I just hang up now and we can forget about all of this?"

Pause.

"Go ahead."

Olivia let out the breath she had been holding while hoping Natalia would tell her to continue.

"Okay..." She walked into the en-suite bathroom and grabbed a facecloth from one of the racks. "We are still under the 'You come to me' clause. You have some amends to make, and I need to know that you are serious... the effort will help prove this to me."

"Agreed."

"You can meet me here when you are ready. Emma and I will be going out to lunch today and then shopping for a while before coming back for dinner at around six-ish."

"Meet there... after 'six-ish'... got it."

"My daughter will be here. Her movements around this suite will not be restricted. Therefore, we won't have to worry your overwhelming sexual urges getting the better of you."

Both women silently smirked at this.

"Right. My urges... no touching... check."

"And lastly..." Olivia had run the facecloth under warm water and began to wring it out. "If you do decide to meet me here today, I want to know that you've at least done some thinking yesterday. I want you to have a general idea about what you are coming here to say."

There was yet another pause, so Olivia continued.

"Can you abide by this last guideline? Have you done some reflecting?... Do you know what you want, Natalia?"

"Do I know what I want?... No." Natalia answered honestly. "Do I know what I want to say?... Yes."

Natalia washed her face while Natalia spoke.

"I'm not interested in making this any more complicated than it already is, Spencer. So yes... I am prepared. Well... as prepared as one can be for one of our infamous 'discussions'."

Olivia left the bathroom and made her way to the living-room. "Okay, then. So when should I expect you? Tonight… ish?"

"Not sure if I will be available tonight." She heard Olivia starting the coffee-maker. "Do you even have any make-up on yet, slow-poke?"

"Just got out of bed, soooo, nope."

Natalia laughed. "Awesome!"

Suddenly the line went dead.

"Helllooo?... Natalia?" Olivia looked at the phone and soon after she heard three knocks at her door. If anyone had been there to witness it, they would have seen Olivia grinning like a smitten school-girl. "You little... " She went over to the door and opened it to find Natalia leaning on the outside of the doorframe. She, too, looked as though she had just gotten out of bed.

Olivia smirked at her. " 'Eagerness for the win', huh Rivera?" she laughed. 

Natalia held Olivia's eyes with her own and flashed a warm smile.

"Hi," she said quietly.

Olivia's eyes went to the dimpled cheeks and then to the smile itself before returning to the beautiful brown eyes.

"Hi."

Chapter 36

Chapter Rating: PG

Natalia knocked on her father's office door. She knew he would be there. He was a creature of habit, always toiling away until a certain time each day; even making up things to do if he ran out of work to keep himself busy. It was 5 p.m. and it was dinner time. She would have warned him that she was coming there to share a meal but, in all honesty, she didn't want to give him enough time to make up an excuse to be away. As soon as she knocked, she heard her father tell her to come in. She opened the door and took a couple of steps into the room.

When he saw that it was his daughter, Antonio immediately put down what he was working on. The two of them hadn't seen each other since their last confrontation, and he wasn't entirely certain why she was standing there now. He decided to hold in his excitement to see her until he was sure that they weren't simply headed for another blow-out. He felt a twinge of sadness about having to be cautious of his daughter, and yet, he clearly remembered a time when he had given her just as much, if not more, reason to distrust him.

"Natalia," he greeted her pleasantly. "To what do I owe this unexpected visit?"

"Have you eaten?" She knew the answer to this but didn't want to sound presumptuous.

"No, actually, I was just about to make my way down to the restaurant."

"Wonderful!" Natalia said exuberantly. She went back to the door and leaned out into the hallway to pull in the room service cart that she had brought up with her from the kitchen.

Antonio was now curious as to what was going on. He pointed to the covered plate of food that was being placed on the small table that came as a standard with each hotel room. "What's all this?" he asked.

Natalia began setting out the cutlery and poured them both a glass of wine. "This is dinner. Well, this is our dinner. As a family." She paused to gauge her father's reaction which was, at the moment, indiscernible.

"I didn't know we had dinner plans."

"We didn't," she straightened up to look at him. "But we do now. I mean, if that's alright with you." She waited for the response.

Antonio paused, still slightly hesitant.

His daughter sat down at the table and uncovered the plates and set the lids on the cart, which she then rolled to the side. The elder Rivera still hadn't answered. "Consider it more of a peace offering than a bribe, Dad," she said with a bit of a smile to show him that she meant no ill will. "I don't want to talk about the merger, and I don't want to argue. You will do what you think is best, I get that." She pointed to the food on the table. "I made this myself," she added. "Makes it more of a valid attempt, wouldn't you agree?"

Antonio smiled finally and nodded slowly. "Very well then," he rose from his seat at his desk and moved over to the table. "What's on the menu tonight?"

"Tandoori Chicken. I remember you mentioning you really enjoyed it when we had dined with the Malhotras at the Vama in London."

"Very good memory. I'm impressed."

"Have a seat." Natalia motioned to the chair.

The tension seemed to lift with each passing non-confrontational sentence. They began their meal.

"This is marvelous, Dear," Antonio praised.

"I thank you for the compliment, even if it is a bit biased."

Antonio chuckled. They ate in silence for the most part with both trying to think of neutral topics of conversation, occasionally mentioning things like the newest hotels being built in the area or discussing the mundane daily tasks involved in the maintenance of the Empire.

"I noticed that you didn't invite Mateo to this little get together."

Natalia sighed. She had wanted to get through the meal without bringing up touchy subjects, but it apparently was too much to hope for.

"That's because this is a 'family' dinner."

Antonio had expected this answer but thought he would try anyhow. "I had hoped that the two of you would one day be able to get along with one another."

It wasn't the first time she had heard this. In fact, it had been a recurring theme throughout her childhood. She knew it was her father's greatest wish. She also knew that, from the day that Mateo had landed on their door-step, that day would never come. It seemed useless to even try to pretend that she could try.

"Wasn't that written on one of my report cards from grade-school? 'Doesn't play well with others?'"

"You get that from me, I suppose. I was never much of a team player myself."

"Oh, I don't know about that Dad. Seems like you did quite a bit of playing in your day."

Natalia knew that she shouldn't have said it. It was as though her contempt of their past had taken up a mind of its own and had begun controlling her tongue. Antonio rested his fork on his plate and reached for his wine. The wall was being raised; his daughter could see it in his eyes. She silently wondered if it was the same wall that he had put up all those years ago; the one which had allowed him to do all of the things he had done. The things that she had never forgiven him for.

"I'm sorry," she offered sincerely. "I didn't come here to fight."

Her father sat back in his chair. "It seems as though it is a bit too easy for us to do that these days."

"I've been doing a lot of... reminiscing, lately."

"That's not usually the Rivera style," Antonio shook his head with a faked smile and resumed working on the rest of his meal, uneasy about where their conversation was headed.

"No, it isn't. I agree. We like to sweep things under the rug and pretend they never happened," Natalia said stoically before taken another bite of her meal.

"And now you think it's time to do some house cleaning?" He eyed Natalia suspiciously but noticed nothing about her mannerisms that would suggest that she wanted to engage in another embittered battle.

"Not necessarily," Natalia said calmly. "I think I just have a few questions..."

"Questions?"

"...that might help me figure things out in my own head... for my own peace of mind."

"Well, if it's peace of mind you want, I don't know if I can help you. I haven't had that in over 27 years," Antonio said with sadness in his voice.

"Why did you let it go?"

“That, my Dear, is too broad a question, one that has many answers. Go ahead.... narrow it down a little." It's time we talked about this; I would rather do it now, while you seem in good spirits, he thought to himself.

Natalia contemplated her next question thoroughly. She paused long enough to work up the courage to finally ask for the answers she had longed to hear for more than half her life. She looked at her father as he waited patiently. He seemed to know what was about to come his way and was more than willing to accommodate her. She leaned back in her chair and lowered her gaze to the napkin with which she had begun to fidget with nervous fingers.

"Why weren't we enough?" she asked quietly.

By being unable to look up after the words fell from her lips, Natalia missed seeing the expression on her father's face change from one of defensiveness to that of regret and pain. Or, more precisely, a look of regret for causing so much pain.

Antonio didn't move for a moment. It was as though he was frozen within the icy chill of the sentiment behind the question itself. He reached for his glass of wine and pushed his chair away from the table. Standing, he slowly turned and made his way to the couch in the middle of the room. He sat down with his back to Natalia.

She assumed that he was shutting down. That it meant that she would never fully understand the truth behind the events that had catapulted her life into its downward spiral. She rested her elbows on the table and covered her eyes with her hands.

"It wasn't that you weren't enough." Antonio's voice cut through the tense silence.

Natalia lowered her hands, but didn't make a sound, not wanting him to stop talking. Willing him to continue. And he did.

"It was that I had long since felt as though I was not enough."

Natalia gingerly removed herself from the table, bringing her own wine glass with her as she moved towards the couch.

Antonio waited until she had seated herself at the opposite corner. She faced him, tucking her left calf underneath her right thigh and resting her left arm over the low backrest. He stared into the middle of the room.

"We were in a place... your mother and I... where we were just living the same day, over and over again. And it wasn't exactly a bad day, but it was just... life had become stagnant. We were no longer excited about the goals we had already achieved or the dreams we had for the future."

He took a sip of his wine. "We loved each other very much. But I had forgotten what it felt like to be needed."

Antonio looked down into his wine glass, his brows furrowing as he relived the sadness of the past.

"And Mateo's mother? She helped you... remember?"

"She made me feel young again... powerful. Invincible, even. I felt like a god when I saw myself through her eyes – eyes that worshipped me."

Natalia was listening to both her father's words as well as the many different questions that each one of his sentences were creating within her own mind. "Did you ever try and fight it?" She asked, not wanting to sound too confrontational but simply not understanding how he could have let it get to the 'point of no return'.

"Every minute of every day, for months," he replied with great conviction.

"Why did you give in?"

Antonio contemplated his answer as if it were the first time he'd thought about it. In reality he had asked himself this very same question thousands of times. Throughout the years the answer had changed. He gave his daughter the latest version. "The idea of it became easier to accept, easier to justify. I was already losing touch with the love that your mother and I shared. This new desire felt more real to me." He didn't really know if he was making any sense.

He turned to his daughter. "Natalia, I would love nothing more than to tell you that I did everything I could think of to avoid it – to try and stay faithful. That I didn't think about how it would hurt your mother even if she had never found out. But that would be a lie. I purposefully put myself in situations where I would need to be around her, knowing that sooner or later it was going to happen." He closed his eyes and rubbed at his forehead with his fingertips. "And I knew, long before I slept with her, that I was already hurting your mother."

"And you did it anyway."

"And I did it anyway."

There was a long pause as both of them reflected.

"I know you want to know 'why'," he said in an almost small voice. "I have no answer to that. I have no explanation as to how I could have been so selfish."

His daughter said nothing for a moment. She ran her thumb over the rim of her glass.

"Have you ever wondered what life might have been like if you hadn't done it?"

"Every day since."

"That perhaps mom may have actually wanted to live if she believed she still had a heart?" There was the anger. Slow smoldering, orange coals that were being fanned with each new word.

"Yes, Natalia. I've never stopped regretting it."

"That maybe I wouldn't have rebelled the way I did?" Natalia continued as her pain helped her poured forth the 'what-ifs?'.

"Natalia..."

"There HAS to be a 'why'!" She felt one tear make its way out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't even aware that she was crying.

"Because the 'why' would help you understand why you made your own mistakes? That's not how it works, Natalia."

"I made mine because I hated yours." Natalia's voice was low and cold. "Whatever... I don't want to talk about me."

"Will you ever be able to forgive me for what I did to you?"

Natalia sighed. She hadn't wanted to bring it all up. It was inevitable though. The way one thing would always lead to the other. But it was too much.

"Father..." She calmed her voice and looked him in the eyes. "I may now have a little more of an understanding as to how you got the point to where you could make the mistake that ruined your entire family but don't expect me to forgive you for everything that happened because of it. That's far too much to ask of me."

"I will keep asking."

"I know." Natalia wiped her cheeks of the remaining evidence of her pain. "I have to get going..."

"Natalia..." Antonio tried to interject and ask her to stay.

"I'll wait until I hear when the next meeting will be held and I will see you then." She went back to the table and cleared both settings, piling everything onto the cart quickly. Antonio watched silently as she hurried to leave, not knowing what else he could say.

Heading towards the door, Natalia looked back at her father. The man she had once considered her hero, now slouched, sipping his wine. Defeated.

She had wanted to hear the answers he had given her. But she felt as though she was no closer to knowing what to do about her own issues. She wondered if she, too, would live out the same mistakes over and over. If, perhaps, it was a family curse. She didn't want to believe that, but looking at the man sitting there now, she couldn't help but ask herself, once more, the one question that had been bothering her since she'd realized her heart was beginning to make room to allow another soul into it.

Am I destined to destroy all things 'beautiful'?

As she walked down the corridor to head to her room, for the first time in her life, Natalia sincerely hoped that wasn't the case.