Chapter Rating: PG... I think this is their first fight without the swear words.
That look alone could have ended it. The same look that could bring grown men to their knees. It would have been enough to force an apology from the offending brunette who was being pulled through a darkened doorway. But as the gentle grip of Olivia's hand around hers turned into a crushing clamp, Natalia knew she was about to be given more than just a look.
And she deserved it. Natalia understood this. She knew better. She herself was ashamed that she had become physically forceful with Olivia. And worse, she had done so while an innocent, but very perceptive, little girl played within a few feet of them through an opened door. She had already begun to punish herself inwardly the moment she saw the worried look on Olivia's daughter's face. She knew she deserved the older woman's reproach. She would stand and take it.
When she was a full step inside the bedroom Olivia, not letting go of Natalia, moved to shut the door softly. That was the last soft motion Olivia would make.
Before Natalia could speak to offer an apology, she felt a flat hand splay itself out onto her chest and she was suddenly pushed back into the door behind her. Olivia was instantly in front of her, her forearm pinning Natalia from one shoulder to the other. Natalia brought her right hand up to remove the arm but Olivia was faster and caught the hand before it reached her. She wrapped her fingers around Natalia's wrist as the younger woman had just done to hers a moment ago. She forced it also back against the door.
Natalia couldn't move. Olivia had leaned most of her weight against her. She wouldn't have tried to escape anyhow. All she wanted was for Olivia to say whatever it was she needed to say and then leave. She chastised herself for not listening to her inner voice when it had told her not to knock on Olivia's door. This was a good reminder that things would probably never end well whenever the two of them were in the same room. She would take her punishment and go. She opened her mouth to tell Olivia this but was quickly silenced as Olivia spoke in a low, quiet tone.
"Not because you lose control. Not when you want nothing more than to rip me apart. Not even when we both agree that I may deserve it. And certainly not because you think it's okay because you are a woman..." Natalia watched Olivia's blazing eyes flash from one of hers to the other though her voice was eerily controlled as she continued "...will you ever lay a hand on me in anger."
Natalia tried to speak but the words were lost.
"And never, ever in front of my daughter." Olivia's tone finally shook. " Don't you dare even think about raising your voice to me in her presence."
"Spencer, I didn't..."
"Shut the fuck up, I am so not done." The blond warned and pressed herself into Natalia's frame more firmly. Natalia began feeling vulnerable under the scrutinizing gaze. Her body was beginning to get confused. Her brain was giving it mixed signals. Olivia was too close. Angry, yes, but too close. She was finding it rapidly harder to focus on the lecture she was being given, but she knew how wrong she had been and how incredibly messed up the situation would become if she didn't give Olivia her undivided attention.
"If you ever forget this very important rule, you will quickly be made aware that whatever you do unto me," Olivia squeezed the wrist in her hand as tightly as Natalia had done and dug her nails hard into the skin, "I will do unto you... tenfold."
Natalia felt the sting of Olivia's nails.
Two off beat measures of labored breaths and the whooshing sound of blood and adrenaline. Other than that, it was silent.
Olivia continued to stare into Natalia's eyes. Furious. Disappointed. Searching for anything that would show her that Natalia understood the 'why' of it all without having to say it.
"Spencer." Natalia spoke with a weak voice. "You need to take a step back... please."
Olivia looked at the stance she had taken. Felt the fingers that were clenched around the other woman's wrist begin to ache. She didn't recognize herself in that moment. She slowly released Natalia's hand and stopped pressing into the shorter woman with her forearm. She stood up straight but didn't back away.
Natalia noticed that Olivia's expression was changing slightly. Still stern and foreboding, but now torn and confused.
"I lost control." Natalia offered, now that she was being allowed to speak. "And despite how much I dislike you, believe it or not, I didn't mean to hurt you." She looked away into the darkness of the room. "I wasn't thinking of Emma. I am not a mother, and although that is no excuse, I would never do anything to purposefully hurt your daughter. Please tell me you believe that."
Olivia watched several different emotions play across Natalia's face.
"My daughter is my life, Natalia."
"I understand."
Olivia wanted Natalia to look at her. She didn't really have anything else to say but she needed to see her eyes. She brought her fingers up to the other side of Natalia's face and tried to turn it gently, but Natalia shifted her head to face the other side instead.
"It will never happen again," was all Natalia said. "I will never touch you again, and so it will never happen again."
Olivia cocked her head to the side. She withdrew herself from Natalia's personal space and kept her eyes on her – backing up until she felt her bed behind her legs. She sank slowly down and sat on the edge. She ran her fingers through her hair and tried to rub the tension from the back of her neck.
Natalia finally let her body relax. It ached. Her mind was spinning. She watched as Olivia put her hands over her eyes and leaned back to lay flat on the bed. All of the fight had also left her. She was just as emotionally drained. Against her better judgment, Natalia crossed the room slowly and stood in front of the other woman, just to the side of her.
"May I?" She asked, pointing to the bed.
Olivia opened her eyes and sighed. "Knock yourself out," she replied and waved a hand to show that she couldn't care less.
Natalia turned around and lowered herself back unto the bed. And there they lay, side by side, staring up at the ceiling.
"We can't keep doing this, Natalia." Olivia said as she looked over to the younger woman.
"I know."
"It's too confusing."
"Yes, it really is."
They paused and Natalia spoke again.
"Can you tell me why you are here and what it is that you are planning on doing?"
"No. I'm sorry, but I can't," Olivia said truthfully. "I don't trust you."
"Nor should you." Natalia answered just as truthfully. "Can I just ask you one more thing?"
"Anything."
"Are you here to take the hotel away from me?"
Olivia paused as she thought about how best to respond. "No, Natalia. I am not here to take anything away from you."
Natalia looked over and locked eyes with Olivia.
"I still fear you."
Olivia didn't respond.
"And I am still so angry at you."
"I just told you that I am not here to take away your hotel; why are you still angry with me?"
Natalia closed her eyes and turned her head back around.
"Because you came into my life."
Olivia's breath stopped after a quick intake, and it took everything she had to push it back out. The tension threatened to seep back into the room. Olivia quickly cut it with a smile. She wasn't going to deal with it right now.
"Oh... is that all?" She said with a snort.
"Yup, that's all, you big Life-Ruiner."
"Thought it was because I have better shoes than you."
"Well yeah, there's that too."
"And hair..."
"Ok watch it, Spencer."
"Just sayin'."
They looked into each other’s eyes. It went unspoken, but both were simultaneously feeling parts of themselves shatter. Natalia was the first to raise herself back up.
"I should go."
She stood up and moved to the door. It was Olivia's hand this time that caught Natalia's arm – gently. She pulled her to stand in front of her where she sat and reached out to take both of Natalia's hands. Natalia looked down at her and waited for some sign as to what Olivia wanted. The blond looked at one of their joined hands.
"When we meet with each other tomorrow, and everything is laid out on the table, there are two different paths that our futures may take, depending on your father's decision." She looked up.
"If he makes one decision, you and I will have no choice but to work very closely with each other whether we want to or not. Our lives will be connected for quite some time." Natalia nodded that she was following along.
"And, if he makes a different decision, I promise you that I will leave this hotel and I will never return. We will never see nor speak to each other ever again."
Again Natalia nodded slowly, looking down at their hands also.
"Either way I want you to prepare yourself for each scenario, because something tells me that no matter which path we are placed upon it will be difficult for us both."
Natalia didn't look up. She simply squeezed Olivia's hands and let go. She walked to the bedroom door and opened it to leave.
"Tomorrow." Natalia said turning to Olivia.
"Tomorrow." Olivia nodded, and watched Natalia leave.
That look alone could have ended it. The same look that could bring grown men to their knees. It would have been enough to force an apology from the offending brunette who was being pulled through a darkened doorway. But as the gentle grip of Olivia's hand around hers turned into a crushing clamp, Natalia knew she was about to be given more than just a look.
And she deserved it. Natalia understood this. She knew better. She herself was ashamed that she had become physically forceful with Olivia. And worse, she had done so while an innocent, but very perceptive, little girl played within a few feet of them through an opened door. She had already begun to punish herself inwardly the moment she saw the worried look on Olivia's daughter's face. She knew she deserved the older woman's reproach. She would stand and take it.
When she was a full step inside the bedroom Olivia, not letting go of Natalia, moved to shut the door softly. That was the last soft motion Olivia would make.
Before Natalia could speak to offer an apology, she felt a flat hand splay itself out onto her chest and she was suddenly pushed back into the door behind her. Olivia was instantly in front of her, her forearm pinning Natalia from one shoulder to the other. Natalia brought her right hand up to remove the arm but Olivia was faster and caught the hand before it reached her. She wrapped her fingers around Natalia's wrist as the younger woman had just done to hers a moment ago. She forced it also back against the door.
Natalia couldn't move. Olivia had leaned most of her weight against her. She wouldn't have tried to escape anyhow. All she wanted was for Olivia to say whatever it was she needed to say and then leave. She chastised herself for not listening to her inner voice when it had told her not to knock on Olivia's door. This was a good reminder that things would probably never end well whenever the two of them were in the same room. She would take her punishment and go. She opened her mouth to tell Olivia this but was quickly silenced as Olivia spoke in a low, quiet tone.
"Not because you lose control. Not when you want nothing more than to rip me apart. Not even when we both agree that I may deserve it. And certainly not because you think it's okay because you are a woman..." Natalia watched Olivia's blazing eyes flash from one of hers to the other though her voice was eerily controlled as she continued "...will you ever lay a hand on me in anger."
Natalia tried to speak but the words were lost.
"And never, ever in front of my daughter." Olivia's tone finally shook. " Don't you dare even think about raising your voice to me in her presence."
"Spencer, I didn't..."
"Shut the fuck up, I am so not done." The blond warned and pressed herself into Natalia's frame more firmly. Natalia began feeling vulnerable under the scrutinizing gaze. Her body was beginning to get confused. Her brain was giving it mixed signals. Olivia was too close. Angry, yes, but too close. She was finding it rapidly harder to focus on the lecture she was being given, but she knew how wrong she had been and how incredibly messed up the situation would become if she didn't give Olivia her undivided attention.
"If you ever forget this very important rule, you will quickly be made aware that whatever you do unto me," Olivia squeezed the wrist in her hand as tightly as Natalia had done and dug her nails hard into the skin, "I will do unto you... tenfold."
Natalia felt the sting of Olivia's nails.
Two off beat measures of labored breaths and the whooshing sound of blood and adrenaline. Other than that, it was silent.
Olivia continued to stare into Natalia's eyes. Furious. Disappointed. Searching for anything that would show her that Natalia understood the 'why' of it all without having to say it.
"Spencer." Natalia spoke with a weak voice. "You need to take a step back... please."
Olivia looked at the stance she had taken. Felt the fingers that were clenched around the other woman's wrist begin to ache. She didn't recognize herself in that moment. She slowly released Natalia's hand and stopped pressing into the shorter woman with her forearm. She stood up straight but didn't back away.
Natalia noticed that Olivia's expression was changing slightly. Still stern and foreboding, but now torn and confused.
"I lost control." Natalia offered, now that she was being allowed to speak. "And despite how much I dislike you, believe it or not, I didn't mean to hurt you." She looked away into the darkness of the room. "I wasn't thinking of Emma. I am not a mother, and although that is no excuse, I would never do anything to purposefully hurt your daughter. Please tell me you believe that."
Olivia watched several different emotions play across Natalia's face.
"My daughter is my life, Natalia."
"I understand."
Olivia wanted Natalia to look at her. She didn't really have anything else to say but she needed to see her eyes. She brought her fingers up to the other side of Natalia's face and tried to turn it gently, but Natalia shifted her head to face the other side instead.
"It will never happen again," was all Natalia said. "I will never touch you again, and so it will never happen again."
Olivia cocked her head to the side. She withdrew herself from Natalia's personal space and kept her eyes on her – backing up until she felt her bed behind her legs. She sank slowly down and sat on the edge. She ran her fingers through her hair and tried to rub the tension from the back of her neck.
Natalia finally let her body relax. It ached. Her mind was spinning. She watched as Olivia put her hands over her eyes and leaned back to lay flat on the bed. All of the fight had also left her. She was just as emotionally drained. Against her better judgment, Natalia crossed the room slowly and stood in front of the other woman, just to the side of her.
"May I?" She asked, pointing to the bed.
Olivia opened her eyes and sighed. "Knock yourself out," she replied and waved a hand to show that she couldn't care less.
Natalia turned around and lowered herself back unto the bed. And there they lay, side by side, staring up at the ceiling.
"We can't keep doing this, Natalia." Olivia said as she looked over to the younger woman.
"I know."
"It's too confusing."
"Yes, it really is."
They paused and Natalia spoke again.
"Can you tell me why you are here and what it is that you are planning on doing?"
"No. I'm sorry, but I can't," Olivia said truthfully. "I don't trust you."
"Nor should you." Natalia answered just as truthfully. "Can I just ask you one more thing?"
"Anything."
"Are you here to take the hotel away from me?"
Olivia paused as she thought about how best to respond. "No, Natalia. I am not here to take anything away from you."
Natalia looked over and locked eyes with Olivia.
"I still fear you."
Olivia didn't respond.
"And I am still so angry at you."
"I just told you that I am not here to take away your hotel; why are you still angry with me?"
Natalia closed her eyes and turned her head back around.
"Because you came into my life."
Olivia's breath stopped after a quick intake, and it took everything she had to push it back out. The tension threatened to seep back into the room. Olivia quickly cut it with a smile. She wasn't going to deal with it right now.
"Oh... is that all?" She said with a snort.
"Yup, that's all, you big Life-Ruiner."
"Thought it was because I have better shoes than you."
"Well yeah, there's that too."
"And hair..."
"Ok watch it, Spencer."
"Just sayin'."
They looked into each other’s eyes. It went unspoken, but both were simultaneously feeling parts of themselves shatter. Natalia was the first to raise herself back up.
"I should go."
She stood up and moved to the door. It was Olivia's hand this time that caught Natalia's arm – gently. She pulled her to stand in front of her where she sat and reached out to take both of Natalia's hands. Natalia looked down at her and waited for some sign as to what Olivia wanted. The blond looked at one of their joined hands.
"When we meet with each other tomorrow, and everything is laid out on the table, there are two different paths that our futures may take, depending on your father's decision." She looked up.
"If he makes one decision, you and I will have no choice but to work very closely with each other whether we want to or not. Our lives will be connected for quite some time." Natalia nodded that she was following along.
"And, if he makes a different decision, I promise you that I will leave this hotel and I will never return. We will never see nor speak to each other ever again."
Again Natalia nodded slowly, looking down at their hands also.
"Either way I want you to prepare yourself for each scenario, because something tells me that no matter which path we are placed upon it will be difficult for us both."
Natalia didn't look up. She simply squeezed Olivia's hands and let go. She walked to the bedroom door and opened it to leave.
"Tomorrow." Natalia said turning to Olivia.
"Tomorrow." Olivia nodded, and watched Natalia leave.
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